


If Forever Ever Ends (For You)

by Atlas_M_33



Series: The Bonds That Tie [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Flashbacks, Garrison back story, M/M, Memory Loss, Mentions of underage drinking, Shiro-centric, Temporary Amnesia, They fly giant sentient robot lions I don't think the booze is the end of the universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 19:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11835747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atlas_M_33/pseuds/Atlas_M_33
Summary: "You know, even with fighting a war and getting shot at all day and nearly dying all the time, nothing has hurt as much as you forgetting.""What do you mean? What did I forget?""What didn't you forget Shiro?"~~~Keith gets a little drunk and lets slip that Shiro's forgotten something.





	If Forever Ever Ends (For You)

**Author's Note:**

> This has taken me forever to write and I'm only mostly satisfied with the way it came out. Keep in mind, this is almost completely self indulgent.

Shiro's exhausted. Between last night's batch of nightmares, the battle earlier in the day and discussing Voltron's next move with Allura and Coran, it's been at least 36 hours since he last had five peaceful minutes to himself. So it stands to reason that the moment he's finally sat down in the common room is the moment that Pidge runs in looking panicked. 

"Oh thank god. I've been looking for you everywhere." Their hair is frazzled and sticking up in every direction, looking even worse than Matt's used to during exam week. "We have a minor situation."

Shit. He should have known sitting down would jinx it. 

~~~

As much of a hurry as Pidge seems to be in to get Shiro wherever it is that they're going, it's apparently not urgent enough that Shiro needs his armor. In fact, Pidge insists that he go to his room and change, and it isn't till after he's back in his usual clothes that they explain what's going on. Reluctantly. 

"You have to promise you won't be mad."

Very reluctantly. 

"Pidge, I promise that unless someone's been vented out an airlock I will not be mad." Pidge finally relaxes a little, and comes to a stop just outside the main dining room that they hold team dinners in. 

"Okay. So you remember a couple of weeks ago when we went through that storage closet outside the training room?" Pidge waits for his nod to continue. "Well… we may have come across a few bottles of Altean alcohol that we didn't tell you about." Shiro doesn't even get the chance to react to that with more than a blink before Pidge is launching forward with their explanation. "It's not like we were gonna do anything bad with it! We were just gonna save it for a special occasion so we'd have something to celebrate with that doesn't double as alien hair gel." Pidge's shudder is pronounced, and Shiro understands, because the stuff Coran gave them during the celebration on Arus really was that terrible. "So when we got back earlier Lance suggested we bust it out, and because Hunk and I have been wondering about the fermentation process, we agreed."

Shiro knows he shouldn't interrupt, but he has to at least pretend to be the responsible one. "Did you guys at least make sure it was safe to drink?"

Pidge's face twists into something resembling disappointment, and shouldn't Shiro be the one feeling that? "You honestly think Hunk would let us anywhere near a food he wasn't sure was safe?"

"Fair enough." The Yellow Paladin was almost rabid when it came to checking for alien food allergies. 

"Well anyway, we started with a few shots, but Keith just kept drinking. Hunk took Lance to medbay to sober up fifteen minutes ago, but I can't even get Keith to go to his room. I didn't know what else to do, he's just sitting there with his drink talking to himself." Pidge is sending the door worried glances now, shifting from foot to foot and looking anxious.

"It's okay Pidge." Shiro reaches out with his left hand and ruffles their hair even more. "I'll take care of this. Why don't you go help Hunk with whatever he was tinkering with yesterday that was giving him so much trouble." Pidge sends him a grateful look and flees towards the lab area of the ship, but not without getting in a good swipe at the hand in their hair. 

"Thanks Shiro." And then Shiro is left alone in the hall. 

~~~

Keith doesn't even bother to look up at Shiro when he enters the dining room, just continues staring at his hands and the half-empty glass of bright blue liquid in front of him. 

"I figured it would only take so long before someone went and got you. That's what everyone used to do. I should have known Pidge would remember."

Shiro's head starts to throb, pinching behind his eyes like it always does right before he has a flashback. "Remember what?" 

Keith barks out a harsh laugh and his face crumbles into cold misery. "That's the big question isn't it? Because with the way you've been acting I don't think you remember any of it. I don't think you remember at all." He knocks back the rest of his drink in one go. 

Keith looks up at him then, with eyes that are foggy from the Altean booze, and for a moment another image overlays the scene in front of him. Keith, tipsy and fuzzy and smiling up at him like he's the sky. It's gone in an instant. 

"You know-" Keith starts, drawing Shiro's attention from where it had drifted. God, he hasn't seen Keith this drunk since- he's never seen Keith drunk. Part of him hesitates on that thought. Most of him moves on from it. "even with all of this," Keith gives a vague hand wave, gesturing at the room they currently occupy. "even with fighting a war and getting shot at all day and nearly dying all the time, nothing has hurt as much as you forgetting." 

Shiro flinches, something in the back of his mind sparking at Keith's words, protesting the amount of space between them, screaming at him for asking again, even more insistent this time. "What do you mean? What did I forget?"

Keith raises his glass to his lips again. It's still empty, and so is the large bottle in the center of the table, so he just stares at his reflection in the bottom of it before letting out a sad little chuckle that sounds nothing like him. "What didn't you forget Shiro?" He only makes eye contact for a second, returning his gaze to the glass before he repeats himself, whispering into the silence of the room. "What didn't you?" 

And with that, Keith slumps onto the table and passes out. 

Shiro honestly has no clue how to react. He stares at Keith for a moment instead, and tries to shake off the feeling that he's seen this before. 

~~~

When Shiro makes it to the bridge after dropping an unconscious Keith off in his cabin, he still can't shake the feeling that he's missing something huge. It's more then just what Keith said, it's a hundred other instances that stick out in his mind now that he's taken the time to think about it. It's every time Keith has stood next to him and Shiro's forced himself not to close the space between them automatically. It's the feeling like flying in his stomach whenever he hears Keith laughing. It's something in the back of Shiro's mind that stood up and agreed with Keith, yes there's something important missing, yes you need it back. It only takes him a moment to realize how to find out. He pushes the button for the ship's intercom. "Can everybody meet me on the bridge? I need help with something real quick."

~~~

It's barely five minutes later that every inhabitant of the Castle of Lions except for Keith has joined him on the bridge. Even the mice have taken up residence on the control panel, using it as a slide. 

"Hey, where's Mullet at? I thought you called everyone?" Lance is rubbing at his eyes like he has a headache, but he's surprisingly sober for someone who was supposedly fall-down drunk a little under half an hour ago. 

"Keith's in his room sleeping off the little celebration you guys decided to have. He's what I wanted to talk to you guys about anyway." Several confused looks are passed between the others, but no one says anything, waiting patiently for Shiro to make his point. Might as well dive straight in then. 

"Has Keith said anything to any of you about me forgetting something?" Allura and Coran shake their heads, mild confusion crossing their faces, but Lance and Pidge swap guilty looks even as Hunk's eyes dart away nervously. 

Bingo. Whatever it is that Pidge knows, Hunk and Lance know too. The only problem is that Pidge would rather tear out their laptop's hard-drive with magnetic pliers than share a secret, and Lance has mastered the art of under sharing and avoidance. Hunk it is. 

"What is it?" Shiro focuses in on Hunk, but not one of them meet his gaze. "Guys, if it has something to do with me I have the right to know." Hunk looks up, and just as he opens his mouth to maybe answer, Lance lunges forward and covers Hunk's mouth with his hands. Lance looks panicked, glance darting between Hunk and Pidge. Hunk has slapped his own hands over Lance's, like he can't believe he would have said something. Pidge is the only one to meet Shiro's gaze. 

"No. You don't. Not this time Shiro. It's not our story to tell." They have a look in their eye like pity, like regret, like wanting to help someone that's in pain. 

"Whatever it is, me not knowing is hurting Keith." It's a low blow, but if all three of them are keeping this from him it has to be big. "I need you to tell me so I can stop that from happening." For a moment he almost thinks that he's won. Hunk is curling in on himself, Lance has that sad look in his eye again as he opens his mouth to speak. 

"Pidge, maybe we should-" 

"No." Pidge drops eye contact to look at Lance. "We promised Keith. I'm not going to be the one to break that." Their gaze returns to meet Shiro's. "I'm sorry if this is something you feel entitled to Shiro, but it isn't our place. Either you remember or you ask Keith." With that they turn on their heel and drag Hunk and Lance out behind them. As they pass through the door Hunk catches the frame for a moment before Pidge pulls harder and removes him from the room. It's long enough. 

"I hope you remember Shiro. You used to be so happy."

Shiro is left alone on the bridge of an alien ship with two confused aliens standing six feet away from him. Somehow the biggest mystery on his mind is what he could have possibly forgotten that would have the rest of Voltron keeping secrets. 

~~~

It's been three days since Keith's adventure in alien liquor and Shiro's only seen him twice. 

He knows from the looks everyone gives him when Keith doesn't show up to breakfast on the fourth day that it isn't a coincidence. 

~~~

It takes two more days for Shiro to admit out loud that there's a problem. 

~~~

When Keith doesn't show up to the weekly strategy meeting it's the rest of the team, not Shiro, that decides to stop indulging his avoidance. 

Allura levels Shiro with a cold look and says, "You will go now and fix this. It has gone on long enough." and that's that. 

~~~

Shiro knows even before he checks the map that Keith is on the training deck. 

His headache returns with a vengeance when he tries to figure out how. 

~~~

"You can't avoid me forever." The statement echoes strangely around the warped walls of the training deck to where Keith is working out his frustrations on the Altean version of a punching bag. At least he's got his hands wrapped. Last time Keith worked out without his wraps- Shiro shakes his head to clear it of the muddled thoughts that accompany the sight of Keith, all of them grasping for attention and offering information on the Red Paladin that Shiro shouldn't know. 

"Says who?" The question is panted out between a punch and a perfectly executed kick. "It's been a week and this is the first time you've made an effort to find me." Keith pauses his workout to wipe his bangs out of his face, the rest of his hair pulled into a ponytail. 

"Allura actually." Shiro blinks away the image of a Keith with shorter hair doing the same workout in the more familiar Garrison gym. "You're late for the meeting."

Keith rolls his eyes and turns back to the bag. "Pidge can fill me in later." Shiro stays where he is, ignoring Keith's blatant dismissal. 

"Keith-"

"Don't act like I was the only one avoiding someone Shiro. You could have found me anytime. But if it's gotten to the point that Allura's intervening… well." Keith turns and brushes by him to get to the door, looking down at his hands and fiddling with the knot on one of his wraps. When he speaks it's an afterthought.  
"I guess I'll meet you there spaceman"

Keith turns the corner with his head down. 

It's the only reason he doesn't see Shiro fall to his knees as the memories begin to slam into place. 

~~~

Shiro standing in the ready room just before the Kerberos launch. Shiro saying goodbye to Keith, rubbing his thumbs gently over Keith's hip bones the way he always does when Keith is stressed. Keith cradling Shiro's face in his hands and rocking up on his toes to press a kiss to Shiro's lips before leaning their foreheads together. "Be safe out there spaceman." 

"I will flyboy."

 

Keith at Shiro's promotion party, drunk and loose and happy, reaching up to run his fingers through Shiro's fringe. Shiro's arms curling around Keith's waist like they belong there, pulling Keith into his orbit. "The edge of the solar system. Look at you go spaceman. Better not get lost."

"Don't worry flyboy, I'll always find my way back to you."

 

Shiro and Keith lying on the gym floor after a few rounds of sparring, Keith turning his head to rub their noses together. "I'll beat you one of these days, spaceman. You'll see."

"Can't wait flyboy."

 

Shiro sitting across from Keith in the library as they work on their homework together, watching Keith push his hair behind his ear and wishing he had the courage to reach over and do it himself. Keith looking up with a smile and leaning forward on his elbows when he catches Shiro staring. "Are gonna ask me out spaceman, or do I have to do everything myself?"

"Well flyboy, looks like you just did."

 

Shiro and Keith flying a sim run together, both pilots moving in perfect sync. The unabashed joy on Keith's face when they finish with a perfect score and the swooping in Shiro's stomach that's a little like flying and a little like love when Keith turns to him still grinning. "Wanna go again spaceman? Five bucks says we can beat our old score."

"You're on flyboy. You're on."

 

Shiro in the mess hall, spotting the cadet that always eats alone and approaching the table. "Is this seat open?" The cadet barely looks up from his tray, offering a brisk nod. "Thanks." Shiro sits, tossing his astronomy books on the table. 

It stays quiet for a few minutes before the other cadet speaks.  
"What do you want?"

The question startles Shiro. "What makes you think I want something?" 

The cadet shrugs his shoulders and looks at his food again, poking at his mashed potatoes. "People only ever talk to me when they want something. They think I'm weird the rest of the time."

Shiro answers without thinking, putting his full attention on his table mate. "Well maybe I just want to talk." He holds out his hand. "I'm Shiro. Pilot"

The other boy eyes his hand warily for a moment before reaching out to shake it. "Keith. Also pilot."

Something clicks in Shiro's head. "Oh. Keith Kogane. I hear you broke my record."

Keith looks panicked for a moment before he picks up on Shiro's joking tone. He tips his chin up proudly and there's a feeling in Shiro's chest like the universe settling into place around him, gravity stabilizing to form a binary star system. He feels himself fall into Keith Kogane's orbit and he's never been happier about anything in his life. He can see the same feeling reflected at him in Keith's purple eyes. "Yeah, maybe I did. What are you gonna do about it spaceman?"

Shiro grins as his world finds a new center. "Guess you'll have to stick around and see flyboy."

~~~

When the torrent of memories finally ends Shiro is still kneeling on the floor of the training room. It's been less than three minutes since he arrived to retrieve Keith and his world has shifted on its axis, clicking back into place as everything Keith said a week ago about him forgetting finally makes sense. 

Oh god. He forgot Keith. 

He bolts out of the training room at full speed. 

~~~

Thirty seconds later Shiro skids into the meeting room, startling everyone where they've gathered around the perimeter of the table. Keith turns around, closest to the door and openly concerned by Shiro's behavior. "Shiro? What's wrong?"

Shiro can only stare in wonder. How could he have ever forgotten this? How could he have forgotten the other half of himself? His silence only serves to worry Keith more. 

"Shiro?" Keith's facing him now, standing within arms reach. "Are you okay?" He's more okay than he's ever been in his whole life. He hasn't taken his eyes off of Keith and he never wants to again. 

"You're starting to freak me out, will you please just say something?"

Shiro swallows and says the only thing he can think of. "You used to call me your spaceman."

Keith's hand flies up to cover his mouth as he stumbles back to grab the table with the other hand.

"I used to call you my flyboy."

Keith breaks, wretched sobs tearing out of his throat as tears begin to stream down his face. He barely has to reach for Shiro before Shiro is scooping him up, arms wrapping around Keith and picking him up the way he always used to. Keith's arms wrap around his shoulders as easy as breathing, hands shaking as they find their way to Shiro's hair. Muscle memory has his legs wrapping around Shiro's hips to hold himself up. "Takashi, Takashi, Takashi-" Shiro's name is whispered into the junction of his shoulder and neck between sobs and it's the best thing Shiro's heard since the day he first left Earth. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I said I would come back, but I didn't, not really. I'm so sorry baby." Shiro holds Keith even tighter, one hand under his thigh and another wrapped around his back, petting his hair. "I'm here. I remembered, flyboy. I've got you now."

Keith pulls back just enough to lean their foreheads together, rubbing their noses against each other affectionately in complete contrast with his words. "Damn you! Damn you for putting me through that! I missed you so much-" 

"I know. I know, and I'm here now, I'm really back this time, and I'm never leaving again." Shiro is startled out of the moment by the sound of someone behind him clearing their throat. He turns, seeing two mildly shocked aliens and three uncomfortable but happy paladins. 

Shiro gently lowers Keith to the floor again but keeps an arm wrapped around his shoulders, not willing to let Keith stray far after finally understanding why he's always wanted to pull him closer. He sets his gaze on the other paladins. "You knew. All three of you. And you never told me." Before he can continue Keith speaks up, pulling back just far enough to speak. 

"I asked them not to. I made them swear they wouldn't tell you." He snaps his head down to look at Keith. 

"Why?" He barely recognizes his own voice, and Keith looks up quickly, jumping to explain. 

"When you first woke up after we found you-" he pauses to take a breath. "Shiro, you barely recognized me. You barely even knew who I was. After a while it was easy to tell that you didn't remember us, what we had. And after we got up here and I found out what happened to you? I knew that there had to be other memories that you were repressing. I wasn't going to do anything that might set those loose. I'm sorry." He makes like he's going to pull away, and Shiro can't let that happen again, doesn't think he'd survive being separated from Keith a second time. He reels Keith back in. 

"It's okay baby. I remember now." He pushes his nose into Keith's hair, breathes in alien shampoo and desert air and remembers long nights on the roof of the shack watching the stars shine and dreaming about joining them. "I remember, and I'm never going to forget again."

They're at war. They're at war in space on an alien ship against an ancient empire and with the universe at stake, but Shiro has Keith at his side. Keith, who still trusts and loves him even after everything that he's done. Shiro closes his eyes and tugs Keith even closer, feels the way Keith fits perfectly against him, settling so that their sharp edges and rough curves line up perfectly, just like they always have. 

Yeah. With Keith at his side?

Shiro will take those odds.

**Author's Note:**

> Well if you lasted this long thank you for reading. This is the first part of a two part series and I don't know when the second installment will be out, but it will probably be shorter than this so hopefully soon. Please comment with any ideas or things you'd like to see!


End file.
